Lawn Bowlers Lament

Length and Line or The Lawn Bowlers Lament

by David Lowden

I wish the expertise were mine, to get it right

both Length and Line.

I’d practice like you’ve never seen,

I’d practically live on the bowling green!


‘Shot wood!’ they cry with amazed delight

as now and then I get it right.

But usually. without a hitch,

my first wood glides into the ditch!

My second wood brings the obvious retort,

‘B*****’ Hell’, he’s two yards short! 


A wise man said, ‘To get your green,

pick a point near the Jack you’ve seen’

so I aim my wood at the spot I think

but it still ends up on another rink!!


But I’ll keep trying and in time

I’ll get it right, both Length and Line

and very soon I’ll get the knack

to get my woods

near the b***** Jack!!

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