Length and Line or The Lawn Bowlers Lament
by David Lowden
I wish the expertise were mine, to get it right
both Length and Line.
I’d practice like you’ve never seen,
I’d practically live on the bowling green!
‘Shot wood!’ they cry with amazed delight
as now and then I get it right.
But usually. without a hitch,
my first wood glides into the ditch!
My second wood brings the obvious retort,
‘B*****’ Hell’, he’s two yards short!
A wise man said, ‘To get your green,
pick a point near the Jack you’ve seen’
so I aim my wood at the spot I think
but it still ends up on another rink!!
But I’ll keep trying and in time
I’ll get it right, both Length and Line
and very soon I’ll get the knack
to get my woods
near the b***** Jack!!